Blanco Suave

Standover Height

2011-05-31T14:48:00.001-07:00

I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully understand most cyclists, and especially mountain biker's, obsession with stand over height. In the interest of true disclosure, I'm a fair bit over six feet tall, so stand over has never been much of an issue. I always wonder though, how many times are cyclists needing to put both feet down flat while straddling the bike? I honestly can't remember a specific time when I've needed to instantly put both my feet down flat. The only time I could envision it would be if things went horrible pear shaped while mountain biking and I'd have to dab with both feet to avoid a long drop, like if I clicked out with the downhill foot first on a steep sidehill trail. I think the thought of falling like Hans Gruber in the end of Die Hard would quickly overpower any fear I had of slightly racking my nuts on the top tube. I can pretty much assure you that even if I did graze my stones, the slight discomfort would be a worthy tradeoff versus a nasty fall.

Bike designs are getting ridiculous enough. With 29ers and full suspension, frame designers are squeezing more things into an increasingly small space. It's gotten so bad that most full suspension designs don't include provisions to mount one, let alone two water bottles. How is it that the vague threat of getting a shot to the balls plays a greater role in determining proper frame design than the ability to carry water? It's especially an annoying fault on bikes that are marketed at back country travel and endurance racing. Am I going to schlep all my water in a Camelbak? What happens if I like to use a electrolyte drink like Cytomax or Nuun? I guess now I have to choose whether or not I want my backpack bladder to have just water in it, or be a sticky, contaminated mess that has to be run through the dishwasher between every use so mold doesn't grow in it. No thanks.

I have a theory that the average male mountain biker has been fed a line about needing decent stand over in a mountain bike so long that they are now incapable of rationally measuring the actual amount of stand over a bike has. I see it all the time in the bike shop. A dude will first assess the quality of the suspension by pushing up and down on the handlebars while standing in front of the bike. Next a quick squeeze of the brakes with the thumb before clicking whatever type of shifters the bike is equipped with. Armed now with absolutely no more information than he had before he started the bike version of tire kicking, the final task is to throw a leg over and yank up on the bars until the top tube touches the pants yabbies. Of course, the front tire now is approximately six to seven inches off the ground, which would imply that there is a fair amount of stand over clearance. But this is where you would be wrong to assume so. At this point, a weird inverse, dick measuring takes place in the bike tester's idiot brain. Normally, the same moron would have their three to four inch member in their hand and swear up and down that that length is easily six inches, if not more. But plant the same person over a top tube of a bike and suddenly, their previous ability to take a measurement and multiply it by two to three and come up with a distance is reversed and they start dividing by two or three to come up with their new stand over amount.

Test. Test. Test. Is This Thing On?

2010-09-19T22:57:00.000-07:00

Awright, let's see if any of the few that ever read this manage to check back on my sorry ass from time to time. A lot has went down in the last couple a years, job wise that has made it tough for me to bloggy blog blog. I used to use this as a bit of a forum to spout off and vent, but when the employment world keeps going in the shitter, sometimes I found it easier to maintain radio silence than spew out something on the inner-webs that I soon regret. Fuck it though, I figure I wanna spout, so Ima gonna.

I used to work at a bicycle parts distributorship. We were the middle man for a lot of manufacturers and put the goods in dealer's mitts. When I was hired, the business was partially owned by a large online retailer and was completely disfunctional. I started in sales, and proceeded through various ownership changes to do absolutely everything there was. After a few years, I was fired. I was told to meet my boss before work and we'd grab breakfast. I shoulda seen it coming. Here's a month's pay, and don't bother coming in anymore. At least my in-laws were visiting. That was a great conversation. I was let go because the business was continuing to slide away and to sell it, the owner needed to trim every last bit of payroll possible. I was doing sales, warehouse management, purchasing, and shipping and I had developed and implemented a new inventory control system. But I was expendable. Only the book keeper made more than me due to seniority and he knew where the skeletons were buried. Trust me, it was really fucking hard to keep my mouth shut.

So I tried to buy a local small shop. She wouldn't sell. "It wasn't making enough to support my family". "I couldn't sell it to you like that". No shit. I didn't have the coin to buy a fully profitable shop. Although it would have been if it had been mine and not run like an insane asylum.

The new owners of the old distributorship are also importers of some off brand stuff. If you had Planet X or any of the Taiwan/Brit shit in your stable, they imported it. They would then sell it to distributors to sell, or maybe directly to shops, or consumers. Maybe that's why they bought a distributorship. All the others they had done business with stopped working with them for undercutting their sales by going direct to the delaers and consumers. Also, as importers of frames and bikes, they could get OEM pricing on parts from various manufacturers. These were supposed to go on the frames they were bringing in. Most of those boxes were re-labeled and put back on a truck to various mail order companies. You ever wonder why you can get an XO derailleur online for damn near the same price your local shop pays? It's because SRAM sells at OEM pricing to importer, importer passes along a sweet price to the internet guys and they sell it to you for better than full margin. The dealer and distributor get left out and fucked by the gray market.

Anywhoo, the new bosses had a little side job, online retail site and they hired me to run it. Problems were many. Most inventory was old and incomplete, the site sucked, and I had no ability to forecast when new stuff was coming. I was expected to "pre-sell" it without knowing pricing and availability. No advertising budget was never good. I was also tapped to help out with all the other shit they had their fingers in. So basically I was being set up for failure. I was technically working for company A, but always was assisting with companies B and C. None of which had clear direction. It made it really hard to go into work knowing your boss who was almost never there, was going to come in an chew your ass for slacking on projects because he forgot to tell you that focus had shifted or something else was now a priority. Fuckers.

At the end, they had me and another guy interview for one sales job to cover all companies and then compete for it. He quit and I rode it out until they fired me. At the same restaurant the previous boss had. At breakfast. No, I've not eaten their since.

Tried again to buy local shop. Yeah, the same one. Same response. Fuckit. I'm moving on.

Got a job at a local shop. Wound up basically running it with the owner. But that person had lotsa personal debt and cash was really tight. Hell of a salesman though. I was convinced that I was gonna buy in and we were gonna dominate. He kept stalling and hemming and hawing and I finally figured out that any money I put in was gonna be swallowed up by his debt and we'd still be cash poor as a shop. How cash poor you ask? When I left, I hadn't been payed in a month.

So that pretty much brings me to now. I'm starting my own shop with a partner that worked with me at the last one. It's gonna rock. It feels like an eternity to get this bitch up an rolling, with all the lawyers and accountants, and property managers, and city, and state, and everyone else, but it will be worth it. I'll slap a few more when I have more to say, but now I'm going to bed and then flying off to Lost Wages for Interbike.

C-Ya, suckers!

Winter Weight

2009-12-25T21:49:00.000-08:00

Well, I've never been much of a climber, but I think you have a better chance of seeing me in one of these this year

than one of these at any of the road races I do.

The closest I'll come to wearing polka dots is the cellulite dimpling that I'll have. If I keep drinking the beer like I've been, I'll look like a 6'4" golf ball and Zipp will be looking to me for patent infringement.

Season Wrapup

2008-12-19T21:30:00.001-08:00

Well, everyone else is doing it, so I might as well. Although, like the last drunk at the party, I'm still not done. There are a couple of races left to do in Redding, so I guess a better title would be "End of Year Wrap UP". Whatever.

I don't know exactly where to go with this post. I could do the blog-o-sphere standard and tell you how my races went vs. my expectations and how I plan to do better, but that falls dangerously close to a touchy feely cross version of a New Year's Resolution and I don't make those. I could do something along the lines of a top 10, but that would do two things I'm not prepared for. The first would require me to sit down and think about what I'm typing and maybe even edit it. Bleh. The second is that the interwebs love a top 10 and I might attract more readers.

Of course, anthing I say, I can and probably change my mind about tomorrow. It doesn't mean I'll do another post about it, but I'd mean to and wind up putting that effort off until something else bright and shiny and new entered my line of sight.

So without further adoo (adu? adou? ado? whatever) I'll ramble semi-coherently about the changes I made this year for cross and how that worked out.

I raced a full season of cross including traveling to Yreka, Merlin, Klamath Falls, Bend, and all of the Cross Crusade races except for Astoria. Last year I "upgraded" to the Master A's and had some mediocre and some pretty good results in Portland and a DNF, but I only did 5 of the races and did 4 out of the 5 Southern Oregon cross races. This year I backed off the summer crits and mid week intervals thinking I would need to be fresher to do the fuller calendar. Wrong. I needed to be in better shape to do better in the full calendar. There is no racing yourself into shape once cross season really hits. If you do two races a weekend, then at best you'll manage to get in a fairly tough ride Wednesday. If it doesn't happen by then, just write it off and move onto the weekend.

The plus side of the season was that I got to know some cool guys in the mid to back of the pack. It makes the 4 1/2 hour drive to Portland every Sunday morning alot easier when you can exchange mindless banter with some of your rivals. It also makes moving up easier if you've routinely beaten someone, even if your points don't allow for a call up(or so I hear). I also found out I can do a full season of cross and not crumble under the effort. The effort isn't the racing, it's the packing and laundry and the driving and the unpackig and the driving home for 5 hours with no shower and the hours in the garage getting the fuckups fixed(see below0 and being away from the family unit for the better part of the weekend.

I had numerous flats on tubulars this year. All were caused by me essentially treating my tubulars like shit and daring them to fail on me. I killed a set of Dugasts by not Aqua sealing them and then the sidewalls rotted. It killed me to toss an expensive tire that rode so fucking nice and still had so much tread left. They literally had maybe 10 races on them. Sigh. I also destroyed a couple (3)of my Grifos. Neither was as stupidly done as the Dugasts, but still were my fault. I'd put a good 2 seasons on one tire and a full season on the other and decided I need to start seeing how low I can run pressures. That's great if you are on some mostly grassy courses, but if your doing hot laps in an old quarry or anywhere in Yreka, then the pressures have to be a bit higher. One tire suffered a cut sidewall. No biggie, since that one was the older one with the most miles. The other ones I actually pinch flatted. I think riding them in to the pits for almost a full lap killed them off for good. I tried the Stan's fix, but the goop just poured out of everywhere. At least I can send them off to Tire Alert to have them fixed in the off season. Note to self, at 190-195lbs, you need to run higher pressures.

I'll finish on what was a high note. I went back to a double set up up front. I'd ran a single 42t and after dealing with clearance issues between the inner guard and the chainstay and in really muddy races for the guards and chainrings to fill up with enough mud to make the chain not sit securely on the chainrings, I went back to what had always worked in the past. A 38/44t combo up front. I almost never needed to get out of the 44. If I dropped down to the 38 and forgot to make the shift back up, no big deal. The difference was enough to give me a little extra spin in some really slow sections and still not penalize me on most of the open bits. No dropped chains, no missed shifts, and a left brake lever the same as my right.

Race Report Rant

2008-12-15T21:49:00.001-08:00

You won’t find a race report on Blanco Suave’s blog anywhere. I’ve decided that for the most part, I hate reading them. If I wanted to know what happened in a Pro race, usually reading the race report from a journalist is better than listening to the Pro describe it. It’s the same reason ESPN has professional announcers and only a few athlete commentators. And that’s for the Pro’s races. I will read the Pro’s reports for the juicy bits of gossip that leak out from time to time or the sneak peaks at what happens behind the scenes. Very rarely do they ever entertain, let alone inform me.

As far as amateur race reports go, if I wanted to know what happened in the middle of the pack, I’d listen to my own bullshit. About the only time a race report is any good is if it has very little to do with the race at all. Describing to me how you felt on the third run up on the sixth lap doesn’t “put me there”, it puts me to sleep. Telling me about the beer handups and the pit hijinks at least establishes a type of mood I’m familiar with and can appreciate. And as you can tell, I’m not nearly a good enough writer to convey anything that happened in my race that makes me want to read about it. Why should you?

I will however, jabber on about certain events I’ve attended. Yes, if you dig back through my past posts, you can find what would constitute a race report. If you are foolhardy enough to read those and the other craptacular submissions I’ve made, then you’ll clearly see that I am rife with conflictions and hypocrisy in my behavior and am generally okay with that. So much so that I won’t care too much with anything you might feel compelled to put into the comment sections. It’s a lonely place that very (and I mean VERY) few people wander off to. I figure that anyone comments about a post that hardly anyone if anyone at all reads, than they have bigger issues than the original poster. If you feel that strongly about something, then get your own blog that no one can pay attention to and stop cluttering up mine. Of course if I start to get hundreds of comments, expect me to take on a truly earned air of superiority and continue to ignore anything you might still say. Either way, I’m an asshole.

Pre Registration and Timing Chips

2008-10-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

There's a lot of talk on the web heading into the cross season about preregistration in regards to day of registration fees and timing chips. Personally, I think before someone starts spouting off about what promoters should or shouldn't do, they should have to put on a couple of races. Once they've done that, they can understand what a time and money suck most race promotion is. Until then, they need to shut the hell up.

First things first. Let's talk about day of race late fees. Let me tell you why a promoter does it(it's not to roll in piles of cash before race day.) There are two reasons. One is pre-race cash for the promoter to get things done and the other is to get the race infrastructure ready to handle a cetain number of racers.

Pre-Reg helps a promoter come up with cash to pay for a lot of stuff. The larger the race, then the more need for the upfront cash. Quite often, parks departments, port-a-john rentals, flyer and form printing companies all require payment up front, or at the least, a sizable deposit. It also helps the promoter in case the weather turns and nobody shows up. There are untold amounts of expenses that pop up in promoting a race. Websites, flyers, insurance forms, flagging, barriers, land use fees, insurance, officials, shitters, signage, etc. etc.

If you are promoting a mtb race that goes over a bunch of different properties, that cash can be very important. If you are putting on a cross race that only deals with one property owner, then usually the deposit isn't too bad. In mtb and road, the weather will play a huge part in determining the rider turn out. In cross, short of locusts, the weather isn't too much to worry about. Cross racers are plenty excited about getting muddy and destroying their equipment.

One thing to remember though, is that the larger and more established the race, the less the promoters need the upfront cash and the more they want to get a handle on the number of racers so they can set up the infrastructure to deal with a large number of people. If everybody registers at the last minute, the amount of volunteers needed to help registration goes up exponentially. The hardest part of putting on a race is getting enough volunteers. You never have enough. Never.

Late registration penalties and and early registration discounts will never go away. There are too many reasons for a large amount of promoters to use them. That said, not all races and promoters will use them, because in their circumstance, they won't need to because their situation doesn't require a large outlay of cash up front and/or they won't need armies of volunteers.

Racers will always say that if their weren't late registration penalties, more racers would show up and race the day of. Promoters always say that they get less racers when they don't make offer a pre reg discount, because racers will flake out the day of if they haven't already paid their entry fees. They are probably both right, although promoters have years worth of event numbers to review, where the individual racer's opinion is slightly less objective and scientific.

Timing chips have no good side in cross races except that it's pretty cool to see your lap times. That said, they flat out suck. They lose racers all the time. If you get too close to the sensor that picks up the chip when you aren't racing, it screws the times of the racers that are on course up and potentially fucks your race as well. The officials still have to spend the better part of a couple of days going over the tapes and reviewing numbers to make the results even close to accurate. The Cross Crusade series used them for a couple years and the results were always messed up. The head officials would spend a couple of days emailing around looking for missing riders and responding to the emails of racers who didn't show up as on the right finishing lap. And they always had to go over the tapes manually. Stop trying to bring triathlon technology into cross.

Summer Night Before Cross

2008-08-28T22:18:00.000-07:00

Combine this

With this

And you have a perfect recipe for enjoying the last warm days on the back porch.

If you think Buck Owens is just about HeeHaw, piss off.

Front Brake Cable Routing

2008-06-25T11:55:00.000-07:00

Or how eveyone else is mucking it up!

In cyclocross, there are a bunch of compromises you make to get a bike working. It is, after all, a sport forged from road racing with just enough mountain biking thrown in, and a few proprietary goodies for good measure. One of the issues people struggle with is front brake cable routing. A lot of bikes are pretty smooshed for space where the front cable exits the bar tape and gets routed down to the front wheel. While there are plenty of ways that will effectively route a front brake cable, they all are wrong. Either they offend my delicate visual sensibilities, are a shoddy and quick way of dealing with a problem, or they have the potential for imminent death. I'll go through all of these "options", but first I'm going to show you the correct way and give you a little trick to make it even better. Do it this way or you are wrong. (Aren't you glad we got that point established? And by we I mean me.)

First, get yourself one of these from IRD.

You won't need the pinch bolt if your headset is tight, so toss it to save a few grams. Sure there are lighter ones out there, but none are better. Because it's machined from a pretty sizable hunk of aluminum and they leave a fair bit of it intact, it's pretty stiff. Meaning your brakes aren't mushy from your hanger flexing. It's a small step when it comes to eliminating brake shudder.(Another post entirely.) Your brakes may still be mushy because you don't know how to set them up, but not from your hanger flexing.

Route your cable under the stem. I don't care how the TreeFarm does it. By using the LongDrop from IRD you'll have plenty of room for the cable to make a nice smooth bend.

If you want to be extra cool like me, use an old V-brake noodle to guide the cable to the hanger. You can bend it into all sorts of configurations and the cable will slide through it better than plain housing. Plus it will help firm up the feel at the lever. If you don't have any old noodles laying around, go to your local shop. Any shop should have a bin full of the never used but always included 135degree bend ones. You can bend it yourself to any angle you want and if you need to shorten it, just pull the end the housing goes into off and cut the tube with a hacksaw.

Here's where I list all the wrong ways and make fun of them. If you route your cables this way and are offended, then good. You deserve to be. Any idjit that gets offended by teasing and brake cable routing posts on the web needs to pull up their big girl panties and have anther cup of shut the fuck up.

Resist the urge to be "Euro" and route the cable over the stem like this.

It's bad enough that the cable is on the right side, thereby giving the rider "motorcycle" or "Euro" style brake set up, but he's using Nokon housing to make a long loop of housing. Nokon, while a pain in the ass and expensive, does have the sole redeeming virtue of being able to be bent into small arc and still have the cables pass smoothly. This bike looks like he did it this way so he could show off the color matching that Nokons allow just a bit more than if it was tucked away under the handlebar.

The real reason you'll see this routing done on some Pro's bikes is because it's fast and easy to do if you are a mechanic that is replacing housing and cable fairly often. It allows for more latitude in cutting just the right amount of housing. If it's a little long, who cares?

Make certain your hanger is on straight. For the love of God, don't do this.

It makes you look like a fat man with a too short and crooked tie. Think Blimpy from Popeye. Again, if you run the LongDrop and noodle, then you won't have any issues with the stem getting in the way. Show some class and get it on there straight. If it's rotating itself, then your headset isn't adjusted properly.

This next one I just hate because of pure aesthetics.

It's ugly, I don't care how many fast guys do this. When you view the bike from the side, the cable is going dow n to the front brake at a goofy looking angle. Also, there are quite a few stems that don't have the clearance between the face plate and the stem body. If your fork suffers from shudder issues, then this will only make it worse.

If you aren't a fat, chain smoking Belgian professional mechanic, then don't even think about this next little "fix".

Drilling through your stem is stupid. Sure, there are posts on the forums with people claiming "no problems so far", but so what? I'm certain there were Yugo drivers that said the same thing at first. The Pro's bikes will have this sometimes done for special events like Paris-Roubaix. It's designed for a one time use. Not three seasons of Cat 3 mid-pack dominance and summer time adventure rides. Besides, it makes the bike look like it has a "Prince Albert". Turn your filters off on your Google Image search and you'll see what I mean.

I think I might have a problem

2008-06-19T13:05:00.000-07:00

Tubular tires are a tricky thing. See, at first I just wanted one set to race cross on. One thing leads to another and before I know it, my garage looks like I abducted Sven Nys and held him for ransom. I don't know what or where the exact tipping point was, but I know I'm way past it now. Working in the bike industry doesn't help me any. You'd think that having access to loads of cool stuff at a discount would be a good thing, but it's not. Do you have any idea then number of times I've bought stuff because it's marginally within my budget? If I had to pay retail for everything, I couldn't afford for it to have gotten so out of hand. Never listen to me if the words, "You can't afford not to!" come out of my mouth.

Most of the wheels I've gotten have been procured over time and I actually do save up for things I want. I came to the belief a long time ago that I'd save until I got what I wanted instead of buying the almost as good but cheaper version. Every time I'd go the cheaper route, I wound either breaking it or wearing out sooner, or I'd find reasons why I needed to upgrade. So when I find a component I like, I tend to put it on all of my bikes. Chris King is a prime example. I rock their headsets on almost all of my rigs (it will be all very soon) and I have, count them, 6 pairs of the hubs. If it seems like a lot of King hubs, you're right, but in my defense I started buying them in 1996 and they all are still running. Some of them were originally different spacings and almost all of have been laced to many different rims. What can I say. I like the product and I like the company.

Here's the breakdown on the cross wheels and tires I have.

These are one of two King hubbed, Reflex rimmed, cross wheels I own. Both sets have double butted spokes and alloy nipples laced up three cross. These have the ceramic coating on the sidewalls and are 28 hole. Both sets are shod with Challenge 34's. They are awesome, stiff, strong wheels that can take a beating.

These babies are the other set. They are 32 hole and are the hard anodized version of the rim. Once again, super tough and shod with the excellent Challenge 34. These are the hoops that go on the rigs in Southern Oregon and at courses like Barton Park. I'll have these longer than any other wheels in the cross stable. As soon as I can justify the effort, I'm going to glue a set of Vittoria Pave 27's onto them and spend all summer riding shitty roads in bliss.

The next two sets of wheels are monuments to my own vanity and lust. I always have a mixture of pride and embarassment every time I ride these. Carbon hoops with stupid expensive, but oh so sweet riding Dugasts.

This wheelset is one of the two carbon hoops I have and a prime example that getting deals in the industry can make you poor. They originally were to be just for sunny day fast courses and road racing, but they've proven to be tough, stiff, and pretty light. I've ran them in muck and mire and they haven't ever complained. I was using them in crits last year and went OTB at 30, sending the bike cartwheeling. They were still true even if I wasn't. I even loaned them to a friend who used them in KC at Nationals and he came back wanting to buy them off me. Part of the allure to them is the Dugast Rynos that are on them. Those tires flat rock. They hook up better than any other I've ridden and the casing allows for stupid low pressures to be used. I'm 195lb and will run them down to 32psi without worries. The only downside is that they have a bit more rolling resistance than some others.

This set is a new one. I sell the Pro-Lites and so I am using them as a demo set. Pro-Lite is a company that makes wheels for Ritchey, Reynolds, and a bunch others. They had some good ideas floating around and decided they needed a house brand. The goofy looking hubs make for shorter spokes and wider flange spacing. All in all, while not the lightest, they are plenty stiff and ride nice. I've been doing the crit thing on them this year to test them out before I get stupid and glue these bad boys to them.

Remember what I said about the Rynos not rolling all that fast? Well these sholdn't have that "problem"! They remind me of the old Michelin Sprint, which was a tire I loved. If they turnout to be good tires, I figure the problem I'm going to have is not riding them at places like Barton or some of the Southern Oregon stuff. Especially if it's dry like it was last year.

Cable Routing

2008-06-18T14:03:00.001-07:00

Cable routing. People lose their minds over were their cables should be attached to the frames and how to actually attach them. It's yet another minutiae of the sport that makes it what cross so intriguing. From obsessing over tire pressures and casing count or the best way to run a single ring to sourcing obscure brake pads, it's a typical type of obsession that is so prevalent in the sport. I'm as bad as anyone else. I'll spend who knows how many hours and dollars "fixing" something so very tiny and then waste myself and my equipment in an hour long slog fest through the worst gunk and grime possible. If that doesn't kill the bike, I throw it on the roof rack for a four and a half hour drive home in the driving NW rain. So you can see how it makes perfect sense to invest in unobtanium bits and maintenance heavy components(this is a sarcastic comment, in case your internal meter is off). Over the last few years I've come to add weight back to the bike to get reliability up, and perhaps more importantly, time spent wrenching down.

This leads me to cable routing. I've ran all the configurations there are and can honestly say they all work pretty well and all have things that suck enough to drive one crazy. I'll also come out and admit that I don't think there is any "magic bullet" when it comes to cable routing. You'll wind up running whatever works best for you and has the least annoying downsides. I'm just going to lay out what I think are the pros and cons of each. I'm only going to go over how they run in regards to the frame routing. I'll leave the front brake routing's for another day as that is a topic unto itself. So here we go.

Down Tube Routing
Pros:
1. It's the lightest as there is the bare amount of housing and only one cable stop per cable.
2. You don't need a pulley to run a road front derailleur. Road front derailleurs work better than mountain front derailleurs. It has to do with the leverage of the arm in relation to the cable pull of the shifters, plus the shape and profile of the cage. Bottom line, you can make a mountain front derailleur work OK, but not as well as a road front derailleur. Since no one makes a top pull road front derailleur, the only way to get one to work is either pave a pulley under the front derailleur on the seat tube which loops the cable back up to the derailleur, or run down tube routed cables. Never ind if you run a single ring. (Yet again, another posting and topic.)
3. No loop of housing at the rear derailleur pointing up at the sky for grit and grime to accumulate in a make shifting suck. Because the housing actually points down, it never fills up with slop and gets sticky. Or at least it takes a lot longer for it to happen.
4. It looks all classic and traditional. Not very MTBish.

Cons:
1. The cables are a pain when it comes time to grab your down tube. They kind of shift around and feel like they are going to pinch your fingers as you're shouldering your rig.
2. More grass and crap seems to hang from them when it gets really messy. No big deal really, but it can make cleaning the bike take longer.
3. It looks all classic and traditional. Not very MTBish.

Top Tube Routing
Pros:
1. It keeps the cables out of the way. Of your hands, of the slop coming off your front tire, everything.
2. It makes cleaning the bike a bit faster. This matters if you've a limited time to spend cleaning and wrenching before your next race. It really matters when you are in the pits and wrenching for someone else. I wonder if that's why you see so many PRO rigs running top tube routing.
3. It makes for a cleaner and smoother shoulder. I don't mean cleaner in that your gloves won't get dirty, but that the motion won't have any hanging up on cables.

Cons:
1. The afore mentioned front derailleur woes. No big deal if you run a single front ring, but a bit of a pain if you run a double. If you run a triple, stop reading this and go out and remove your helmet mirror, seat bag, and water bottle cages. What you do isn't racing. This is about race bikes. An aside on the pulley. I don't mind them so much, but they are another moving part that has to be dealt with and on certain frames, can limit tire clearance at the seat tube.
2. Unless you like changing your cables every week (Yeah, that's right. Every week.) or run a sealed system like Gore, your shifting will suck balls in a very short amount of time. It happens because of that last loop of housing at the rear derailleur points up at the sky allowing all kinds of crap to run down the cable and deposit itself in the housing. Even though the cables are up and out of the way, any grime and slime that gets on the bike will be funneled right down into that last bit of housing. That's why pros get new cables and housing every week.

I've come to run the rear brake and rear derailleur on the top tube and use sealed cables. I like running a road front derailleur so my front derailleur cable goes on the down tube. I had the guy who built my bike use a single split stop at the 6:00 position on the down tube which keeps it as tucked up to the frame as possible. I think this offers me the right balance of performance and limited maintenance. If I had more limited wrenching skills (they're way mad) and never wanted to change cable and housing, then I'd have the cable routed on the down tube. If I had huge ducketts, I'd run regular cables on the top tube with a pulley and have my personal mechanic deal with changing them out on a constant basis. As is, I think running a sealed system is the way to go. It costs more up front, but the shifting lasts the whole season. Just don't use that Nokon crap. I'd have to hit you.

Back From the Long Grey Void

2008-06-04T12:12:00.001-07:00

We'll I'm back blogging again. Like a cold sore that won't go away, this blog is just about as reliable and annoying. This winter after cross, Blavco Suave was pretty fed up with the bike industry. After getting the shaft put to me by the "officials" at the Portland USGP, and then getting fired from my job in January, it was a little tough coming up with anything decent to say for a little while.

But then the snow was good and the time on government "unenjoyment" tit was nice and spending a bit more time with the little ones was fun and I was in a pretty good place. I still wasn't riding, so the no post habit continued to form and infest itself even deeper. It was creating a perfect cycle.

After the weather turned nice (Some of you are thinking this never happened. It has. Harden the Fuck Up!) I started riding and even training again. Only this time, solo was the theme of about 95% of Blanco's rides. Somewhat because I was still a little crusty with the bike industry, and just didn't want to field questions regarding my job status and "So what are yo going to do now?" type stuff.

But Blanco found out that he liked riding sans group better. Mostly because all the people who he usually rides with were all about the early season races and were already flying. It sucked going out for every ride and have it turn into the "Wednesday Worlds". I was still skiing part time and riding an even smaller part time and getting the wood put to Blanco in March wasn't my cup of tea.
Pros will tell you that they spend most of their training time alone because it allows them the best opportunity to maximize the type of ride they need to do that day. No responding to the groups seemingly random efforts and no drifting along safely ensconced in the pack when they should be busting their asses doing motor pacing. That's what the pros will tell you.

Blanco Suave can't tell you that. A training plan for me is that I'm planning to train, but plans change. What really makes training alone work best for me is that I don't allow myself to be slotted into my assigned pecking order of the pack during those "group rides". If I get thumped weekly by the same people, when it comes time to race, I already know where I'm gonna wind up, whether or not I actually deserve that placing. Trying to get your season to peak later than most people's is hard enough without spending the better part of your build up time getting discouraged.
The potential downside is that you can be deluding yourself in regards to your actual fitness. You can show up to the first race thinking your flying and get the old doors blown right off. But even if this happens, it's easier to justify your fitness and get back to getting better.

Every now and again this "ostrich head in the sand" style of training actually works for Blanco Suave. This last week Blanco turned the pedals in anger for the first time this year at the Thursday Night TT kickoff to the weekly crit series. I didn't exactly set any one's house 'a fire, but I turned out a pretty respectable result. Most importantly, all the other racers when I've ran into them this week, have commented on how strong the Blanco Suavester is riding. It seems like I caught them by surprise. Not that I'm actually all that strong right now, but they have nothing to gauge me against and automatically assume that if I haven't been getting thrashed on them since February, then I must not be riding too much. Bam! Instant insertion a few rungs further up the pecking order. Beware Blanco Suave, for he rides with the force of Solo!

So PRO it makes Blanco's teeth hurt

2007-12-30T23:09:00.000-08:00

You know I have to have this. It's only forty dollars and I already have the Battery pack and extra Silca heads to complete the Pimpitizing. Fuck FMB's. Blanco Suave's going high tech redneck stylee!

Pay it Forward

2007-12-06T11:33:00.000-08:00

Or back or whatever direction you want. Seriously, quit hanging on to all of your shit you think is a treasure. Believe me, no one is going to want to give you what you think your old 8sp Grip Shift is worth, even if you throw in the yellow shark tooth twist grips. It's just a clutter. Plus, you aren't ever going to get around to selling it on Ebay, anyway. If you ride your bike at all, and have a J.O.B., there is not nearly enough time in the day to clean up and post pictures of all your worn crap. Especially if you are already stealing time from "The Man" by blogging at work. Never mind all the time it takes to answer all the dumbass questions that go hand in hand with Ebay, like "Can you ship to Canada via Priority Mail, but COD, 'cause my PayPal is a little jacked up right now and I'm in a pissing match with UPS?"

I just gave away one of my old cross frames that had been gathering dust in the garage rafters. I had been meaning to repaint it and then probably spend way too much time and money building up a bike that I don't have room for. I also gave away some old XTR discs to a good friend this year. I had been meaning to clean them up and put them on Ebay, but that never happened and the new ones were already paid for. Now he's set up to go mountain biking with me, and I have more space in my garage and some serious favor leverage for when it comes time to do some home repairs.

What Blanco Suave Rides (slowly)

2007-10-25T16:19:00.000-07:00

Here's the bikes I likes.
This is the new baby. I wanted Mike to make me a steel cross frame and fork based around the Paul Components Racer brake. I like how low pro they are. This bike will see limited use as the pit bike during cross season, but mostly it will be for gravel road rides and commuting. It rides a bit more softly than my race rig, which is what what I wanted. I already love this bike. It is going to get way too much saddle time.

This is the race rig. Ti, light and sexy. It's stiff and tough and with the single ring, all about business. It tops out at just over 18lbs., which for my fat ass, is plenty light. I don't know about the carbon hoops, but they look cool. The Dugasts that are on there are the bees knees, though. I have a set of Kings laced Mavic ceramic Reflexes that I can run should the need arise, like at PIR this December.

Stops and Starts

2007-10-25T12:21:00.000-07:00

I feel like I’m playing a giant real life game of red light/green light. I’ve been getting all geeked up for cross season and now that it’s here, one thing or another is keeping me from getting in the racing groove. Family commitments, work commitments, house and car work, etc., etc. I really like this time of year when I can just worry about the races on the weekends. Every weekend. I do well with racing consistently.

Blanco Suave isn’t one of the Oscar Freire types that just shows up at the big dance and lays waste.

No I’m more of the Boonen type that need to race into fitness.

I respond better to old adage that nothing gets you more prepared for racing than racing.

I’ve been able to postpone the impending feeling of doom by telling myself that I’m wanting to peak later in the year. But it’s coming up on November and I only have one cross race under my belt. Last I checked, I’m not going to Belgium for all of December and January, so the late part of the season is coming on fast for me and there hasn’t been much of an early or middle part of the season.

I’m hoping that the weather will turn into the proper NW shit storm that it usually does. Not that I love racing in the grime, but I tend to deal with the circumstances better than others. I love it when I overhear racers complaining about the cold and wet. It means that much fewer people to worry about. I’m also hoping that all of the racers that have been tearing it up week after week up until now are starting to fade in motivation. I can’t be the only asshole who realizes that you can only ignore your family, friends, and ever-shrinking wallet for so long. That’s the other nice thing about the wet and nasty. Repairs to your equipment tend to get more expensive and it takes longer to keep everything running. Further ruining motivation and making getting the always needed kitchen pass harder.

So basically, Blanco Suave’s plan for cross domination depends on the failure of every one else. Notice I haven’t once mentioned my own fitness or skills. No, I tend to prefer to bask in the schadenfreude of cross racing.

Why torment myself with my own failings when Blanco Suave can delight in the suffering of others? That must be the reason that the races bring out so many “Spectators” (hecklers).

Tired of Tire Reviews? Too bad!

2007-09-13T22:27:00.000-07:00

Here's the follow up to the last post about clinchers. I promise it won't be so long winded. (Not true. I had my fingers crossed!) If you want to know what I like (long walks on the beach, curling up with a good book, fine dining, blah blah blah) or where I race (in front of you, unless I happen to be lapping you), then you'll need to look back at the last entry. The only time Blanco Suave repeats himself is when I decide someone is worthy of two roundouse kicks to the head, Tonkin-ator style.

This here ree-view is about the sublime world of tubulars and all the glue huffing goodness that goes with them. I don't know if the fumes make you long for Belgian ale and frites, or the other way around, but the tires really are the bees knees. I know lots of racers who try all sorts of way around running them , from the voodoo tubeless conversions, to Stans's, to waiting with baited breath that Hutchinson and Shimano's joint tubeless venture will be the answer. Some are even foolheaded enough to keep on running the Tufo red headed bastard child tubular clincher abomination. To this, Blanco Suave says, please continue and thank you. It's a fact that even a bad tubular is faster in most conditions than a good clincher, and as a user of great tubulars, I encourage everyone else to continue running clinchers. The only reason to run clinchers is if you are on a budget. It's way cheaper to throw another tube in and get back up and running for $4 and 10 minutes than it is to spend another fumigated night out in the garage peeling and regluing another $100 tire. Or if you only have one bike and one set of wheels, then clinchers make perfect sense. You can commute during the week and race on the weeknd. But as we all know, if you are racing cross, budgets are something only to be looked at after you've spent the rent money on another set of obscure French silk sew ups; because the casing had a special strip under the tread that your other 6 pair didn't, and that would make them that much more perfect for one 45 minute race you do in those conditions, and if you are going to spend all that money on one set, then don't you need another set for your pit bike as well? See where this leads?

Any-whooo. here's the shizzy. Feel free to disagree with me, but then as you can see by the slick commercialism of this site, I obviously get paid a ton of moulah to spout off, so I must be right. Oh yeah, feel free to pay me tons of moulah to spout off.

Tufo Prestige
It's the red ones, but the yellow are just as bad. The two redeeming factors they have are that they are available in something bigger than a 30 and are reported to be pretty good in the thorny and rocky areas of the country. I think the two things they have going for them is they are they are cheap on the interweb and, well, they are cheap on the interweb. They have almost no side knobs to speak of, and the transition knobs point stright out to completely open areas on the casing. Actually the other thing they have going is the base tape. Since Tufo doesn't sew a tube in the casing, but vulcanizes it, the base tape is nice and flat and makes gluing all the way to the edges a breeze. Good luck fixing a flattened Tufo. There is no tube to patch back up . (Not that you would, but there are businesses that charge way too little to do this for you!) Most Tufo riders wind up dumping about a gallon of the Tufo sealant into the tires, hoping to get them ridable again. The upside to this is they become heavier than your commutron wheels and you do get some kick ass training in. I say save the gooped Tufos for race day! (Again, better for me. Follow along.)

Vittoria Cross Evo XG
Cool shiny silver euro goodness offset by not the most supple casing and a base tape that likes to seperate from the casing. These are pretty decent if you are on a budget and live in a pretty rocky and rough area. They also clear mud pretty well and have okay side knobs. Beware that the casing is a little tough (again, good for the rocks, lead butt) and that the 32 is tiny where as the 34 is nice and big. My first set didn't have the straightest casing and wouldn't roll through my buddy's chainstays. I would recommend these to someone who wants to try out tubulars, but is scared of what to do if they flat. (But buy them on sale.)

Challenge Grifos
Here's the first real step towards buying uber expensive tubbies. The first time you buy a set, they will be your special race tires, because he casing feels so much more supple than anything you've tried so far. You'll also pick up an unhealthy obsession over the accuracy of the gauge on your pump, wished it read in BAR in easily readable fine increments, and you'll buy a stand alone pressure gauge. It's really the first big leap into Euro snobbery and single ring coversions using sandwich gaurds and not some chain keeper thingy. The first generation used the same tread glued onto all the diffeent sized casings and was originally made in 30c only. In fact it was called the Largo when the factory was Clement and not Challenge. The Grifo was the pinner 26c tire for all the old school hard men. Any-hoo, when they applied the tread to the larger sizes it was a bit under sized in relation to the casing. It worked okay in 32, but a 34 had it's knobs seemingly just on the top of the tire. You's still get pretty good traction if you ran the pressures low enough. The new ones have an extra row of knobs on the side and they rock. It's a tire that makes you feel a gear faster on bumpy and power sucking grass.

Dugast Rhyno
All the euro pros run these. They'll make you buy a digital pressure gauge and talk a buddy into "pitting" for you. You'll pit bikes every other lap if it's at all moist, let alone muddy. Just so you can show off to the crowd and to give the official something to pay attentin to. The new tread simply rocks. It's the first tread that matches (or comes closer than any tread ever has) the quality and ability of the casing to provide traction.
I haven't tried the classic Typhoon yet beacause my wife found and confiscated the Blanco Suave's Visa card. She said something about feeding babies and then I zoned out thinking about Duvel beer and frites. (MMMMMM,frites.) Damnit Woman! Doesn't she know that I need a set of Duggies for faster, dryer courses and somehow my two set of Challenges won't quite cut if for mid pack domination??
Any-hoo, these are the big dogs on the block when it comes to performance. Sven Nys's personal mechanic is the owner of the company. He bought it from a French hobbitt who learned his craft from God. Be prepared to be amazed at the lovely suppleness of the casing. If you don't know who Sven Nys is, then you'll never appreciate a Dugast tire and you should just go ahead and run Kenda Knarly's on your flat bar Redline. Remember to pick a color that matches your baggy shorts and the bottle cage you refuse to take off, you troglodyte!

P.S. Your blinky tail light fell off at the last set of barriers when you decided to carry your bike in one hand like you were going to throw a javelin.

Next up on the docket for blogification: Gluing and how your wrong and I'm right.

Cross Tires

2007-08-21T09:45:00.001-07:00

Or as I like to refer to it, the reason I have no money and a garage full of old tires I don't use, but won't give away.

So I’m putting my thoughts about the tires I’ve used over the years in one place. It seems to get some comparative info, you really need to search through the threads to get what you want. I’ll start off with the clinchers and work my way up to the tubbies. Now, I haven’t run some of these in a few years, so I’ll try to give the best recollection I have of them.

First a little breakdown on the type of terrain I ride in and then the type of rider I am. I ride my cross bike a lot of places. During the bulk of the year, it gets used as a commuter and gravel road explorer. Later on it gets turned into the full on cross racer rig and goes round and round in the slop and mud every weekend. Both uses have two very different needs.

Our dirt and gravel roads come in two types. One is the sweet and smooth decomposed granite that only gets sketchy late in the year as it gets looser and looser. In August, think of about a half an inch of kitty litter over a cement floor. The rest of the year it’s pretty nice, fast and smooth. The other type of gravel is the typical shit they put down on logging roads. Sharp, sometimes loose, and always sketchy and power sucking if it’s been freshly graded. Sometimes you find yourself suffering in the washboard tracks the cars leave because it faster and has better traction.

The local cross races are on pretty hard pack dirt and gravel that bakes up hard, unless the rains come and then it turns to sticky gumbo. One course has a fair amount of grass and real mud made form actual dirt so clearing shit from the lugs isn’t too big of a deal, but the grass gets really greasy. The clay gumbo is a real power suck and a wider tire works best.

The Portland races are your typical cross type courses that have grass and mud and some dirt and pavement mixed in. If it’s not too wet, the organic material mixed in the mud can clog up a bike pretty good. If it gets really wet, then your tires will usually clear the crap, but say goodbye to your brake pads and chain. You’ll have a fine grit of sand scum up your crack that hurts like hell to scrub off and takes two washings to get out of your chamois.

I’m the type of rider that prefers to remain fairly upright in my corners and I tend to sit and power a slower cadence instead of standing. I’ll stand, but at 6’4” and 195lbs., I start getting in the red pretty quick if I have to support my body off the bike. I save the standing for resting my junk and accelerating. I think my height makes me want to keep the bike upright and not lean into the corners too much. I’ve got a taller center of gravity and if I get a 15 degree lean into a corner, it’s farther away form the tire’s contact patch than someone 5’8”.

So as far as tires go, I tend to prefer something with a round and predictable profile and while I like a wide tire, I really want it to be tall and cushy. It needs to roll fast and corner confidently. I also like it to have a fairly supple casing. I hate it when you ride a tire that feels like it’s made from a garden hose.

Clinchers:
Geax Blade- 700x32c
I really wanted to like this tire. I thought the fairly open tread would shed mud and roll quickly, which to be fair, it did. However, it’s smaller than listed so I had to run the pressures pretty high to combat pinch flats and the tall knobs give a squirrelly feel when transitioning in to the corners. They also tended to break free a bit unpredictably. They did pretty well on the loose granite and they rolled fast on the pavement, so they were a good tire for late summer exploration rides. I think they would have been better if the tread was lower and the casing was bigger.

Panaracer CrossBlaster- 700x31c
A new tire made in the old school cross philosophy of narrow and light. They are so light it makes it hard to put anything else on the bike if you have a scale handy. They were impossible to clog with mud, probably due to their low and widely spaced knobs. They were a nice round profile and had a supple casing, but due to their small size, you had to run the pressures way up there to keep from pinching. Not a very durable tire, but did I mention they were light? Probably the perfect clincher tire for running in the super deep mud where you are looking for the tire to cut to the hard stuff and you’ll probably be carrying your bike a lot. Otherwise it’s too specific to make a good cross tire.

Michelin Mud- 700x30c
There is no way these are a lowly 30c. They look like a 34c and have the nice round and tall profile I covet. The original green treaded tire that everyone still uses as a comparison when referring to mud performance. They’d pack up a little if there was a lot of grass and other organic material in the goop, but otherwise a fine tire. Michelin used a weird inner casing that made booting a cut next to impossible so you had to watch it in the rocks, but you could generally run a lower pressure than any other clincher. They didn’t roll all that fast on the hardpack and pavement, but then that’s what the Sprints were for.

Michelin Sprint- 700x30c
See above for comments on size and shape. These things were the best. They were the semi-slick version of the Mud. They rolled faster and could find way too much traction for the amount of tread or lack thereof. Most guys ran this on the rear with a Mud up front, however it was not unheard of to run Sprints front and rear. Some guys would even do this in the mud so there was no chance of gumming up the tread. This was the first tire that clued me in that casing size, suppleness and tire pressure have as much, if not more, to do with traction as the knobs do. One of my all time favorites.

Michelin Mud2- 700x30c
The replacement for the original. Slightly different tread and no longer green. Same casing and same Michelin adherence to a completely wacked sizing scale. Still works great, but some would say the green tread cleared mud better at the expense of wear.

Michelin Jet- 700cx30c
The replacement for the Sprint. Michelin did away with the diamond tread and changed it to some weird diagonal file tread that had a tendency to give a funny sound when run at speed on pavement. Not as predictable as the Sprint, but it saw way more spec on bikes, probably due it coming in black instead of the green silica compound. Good tire, but not great. By the way, you can still get the Sprint tread from Michelin, but it only comes on their commuter tires with black tread, heavy casing, and fewer TPI. Don’t fall for it. The Jet is a much better tire.

WTB CrossWolf- 700x32c
WTB’s cross racing clincher. It rolls fast and feels nice and grippy in the corners, even when leaned. I just doesn’t clear mud from its transition and corner knobs. If it was a little bigger and had a little more open tread design this would be a great tire. I bet this thing rocks in the Bay area and Santa Cruz races. It’s not a bad commuter or exploration tire, but not as good as the one coming up next.

WTB InterWolf- 700x38c
Buried way in the WTB lineup, almost hidden in their commuter division is the InterWolf. It measures out closer to an actual 35c and its profile is round and tall. The casing simply rocks. You can run lower pressures than you think, and it rolls like a high-end road tire. The tread lasts forever and it’s reasonably light. It’s replaced the Sprint as my favorite clincher for everything except for mud. It’s another tire that works way better than you’d think

Tufo Diamond TC- 700x30c
Tufo’s weird attempt at the clincher market. Imagine a tubular with hard rubber wings just outside the base tape. Those wings snapped into the clincher beads and were held in place by the air pressure of the expanding casing pushing them out. They were an absolute bitch to install when new and tended to pop off when the got older. They had no way of patching them, so you had to rely on this liquid latex sealant. Not very inspiring when out in the boonies. This one was the diamond tread and the cheap but tough casing. They actually were pretty good commuters. With about twice as much sealant as recommended you didn’t have to worry about thorns and you could get away with lower pressure than a regular clincher. They still rode about like a garden hose.

Tufo Elite LPS TC- 700-30c
The sucker tire for all of the guys who wanted tubulars, but were afraid of glue and spending money on a dedicated wheel set. I think these things were a false economy and wound up costing you more. You’d get addicted to the ability to run low pressure and when you’d finally had it with the shitty tread that only worked when not leaned over at all and beads that would pop off the rim under slightly hard cornering efforts you’d finally pony up for some tubulars because you couldn’t stomach the thought of going back to clinchers. Except maybe the Michelins. But by that tine you’d drawn your elitist line in the sand and crossed the Tiburon in to tubbie town. I’d go back to racing clinchers before I ever went back to these. The last I heard, Tufo stopped making them. Go figure.

To be continued with the follow up on tubulars.

Grrrouchy

2007-06-19T15:02:00.000-07:00

Man, I’m grouch to day like I have a badger bit down on my ass. Too much time already off the bike with too much time off the bike looming ahead of me. The first day or two on the meds after the crash were bearable. I pretty much slept a weekend away. Sure, peeling my underwear off of my ass cheek wasn’t exactly what I had in mind for my first Father’s Day, but at least I got in some winks without burning valuable spouse capital.

Now it’s starting to get into the meat of the shitty recovery time. At best I’ll be back in the saddle by this weekend. I’ll still be feeling like ground chuck and have the mobility of a beached whale, but fuck, at least I’ll be out there. Hopefully I’ll be unsnagging scabs from Lycra instead of mopping up wound ooze from the bib shorts. Fun fucking fun.

It’s amazing how a little change in the schedule can make me a grump. I should just change my name to Oscar and move into a garbage can. I don’t know if idiots can sense when I’m in these moods, or if I notice the idiocy more, but I have dealt with more fucking morons lately than I care to think about.

Blah, blah blah. Poor fucking me. As soon as I can bend down enough to put on a sock and shoe, I’m outta here on a ride.

Sangria De Suave

2007-06-18T13:25:00.001-07:00

That’s the goo that’s stuck to the sheets in the guest bedroom. The sheets were previously stuck to the Suave himself, thanks to a high-speed get off during the Thursday nighters. Old Blanco decided to launch up the Dooley with two to go and midstream was slammed to the ground by a skip in the drive train. I don’t know what happened. The chain is intact, the freehub engages normally, and the bike was shifting fine. All I know is one second I’m feeling all Boonen-tastic and the next second I’m trying to cheese grater every square inch of my left side with ¼” chip seal. It makes old Blanco a bit gun shy about putting the power down. Not that the power will be getting put down anytime soon with the large amount of scabbage on the posterior that needs to heal first. But still, I need to have some confidence in the Suave Sprint. I’m not exactly going to out climb the group. If I’m going to do well at all, then I’m going to have to trust putting the watts down in big legged bursts and not have to worry about scraping myself along the pavement. The crappy thing is that it happened at high speed and under power. No way of replicating that except for being at high speed and under power. I’d feel a little safer if it had been something like left had slow speed turns or in the 34/25 while doing a leisurely 60 RPM’s. Nope, I get to go out and try and make it happen again at race speed on hard pavement. It makes me wish cross could be here sooner. Sure, the equipment is largely the same, but you answer me this, would you rather wreck in your front yard or in your driveway? Yeah, I thought so.

Is there a 12 step program for this?

2007-06-01T16:36:00.001-07:00

I have a problem. I can’t quit obsessing about tubular tires and wheels. Especially cyclocross tires. It all started with a set of Tufo tubular clinchers. I bought a set at the apex of having colored tires on your cross bike. But because I had only clincher wheels, they tubular clincher set up seemed like the perfect idea. They only have two issues. One is you get addicted to how well a low pressure tire rolls across bumpy slow terrain and two is they suck everywhere else. Seriously, no traction on anything and they have a tendency to pop off the bead if you run them hard through corners. Especially if you run them low enough to get any kind of traction. They also have a habit of leaking air at very in opportune moments. Their prescribed sealant helps, but not very reliably. They also run a little on the small side. Since I don’t live in 1976 when cross tires were 26c and pumped up to 85psi, 32c is as small as I want to go and the Tufos only reach 30c.

The easy solution would to just go back to clinchers. At the time there were a plethora of decent tires for clincher rims headed up by the infamous Michelin Mud with the green tread. It’s really an excellent tire that is as good as you’ll find to this day. Flats would only cost a buck to fix and take about 5 minutes. I also wouldn’t have to worry about another set of wheels. I could continue to switch out the tires every year from the road bike. Hell I could even get a second set of wheels so I wouldn’t have to have the road bike without hoops for cross season. Shit, I might even have a spare set of wheels and be PRO.

No, I had tasted the sweet nectar of tubbies and wanted the fully leaded, non-diet, sugar filled goodness of the truly Belgian way. Since I was new to the tubular game, I decided I would get one set as the race wheels that were only brought out at the big time Portland races. Ones that featured lots of grass and no rocks or thorns. No way I was going to waste these babies on goat heads and the Southern Oregon jungle cross courses. That lasted about a week. Pretty soon I was running them in all the Portland races due to the importance and stature of the series. They deserved to have tubulars used. I mean, if I’m going to drive 5 hours to compete in a 45 minute race, then shouldn’t I bring out the big guns? This lasted pretty much one season.

I’d love to say the reason I held out so long for a second of set of tubulars was due to my already established principals regarding the stature of the local series versus the Crusade Cup series, but it was really about finances. I blew all of my dough on travel and there was no way I could justify buying another set of wheels and tires at the time. Utilities have to be paid and Christmas presents have to be bought. Besides, waiting until after the holidays gave me all year to obsess over it. I had time to shop and scour for deals. If I was patient I could get a second set pretty cheap.

Yeah right. Part of the problem with running sweet gear is that anything but matching stuff is unacceptable. Okay, it’s my problem not the problem, but whatever. Anyhoo, I did find a second set of blingy tubbies, although in my defense, I did wait around and score a set of Kings laced to ceramic 28 hole Reflexes. Cool, now I have a set of bomber deep sections for the Southern Oregon series and a set of lighter box sections for the P-town races that will still work in the glop. I was even thinking ahead. I bought a pair of Vittorias in a 34c for the local races due to their flat protection and a set of 32c Challenges for the Crusade courses.

Two things ruining the plan, as we now know it. First is Vittorias kind of suck. I mean, they are better than clinchers, but shit, they aren’t as nice as the Challenges when it comes to plush. They also run a bit wobbly and bumpy. Second is that I’m only racing the local races due to family constraints. So I have sweet set of wheels just sitting in the garage, begging to be used. It’s hard to save the goodies for the big races when you know you aren’t going to get to go. It’s like saving yourself for marriage when you know the reality is you are going to wind up a cat lady spinster. Good thing the season was mercifully short, once again giving me lots of off-season to plot and scheme.

Long story getting longer, but oh well. I pony up for a second set off Challenge tires, this time in 34c, ‘cause that’s how I roll. Well, around this time I luck into a free set of carbon tubular wheels. That’s right, free. Well the only thing going on those bad boys is Mr. Andre Dugast himself in all the new Rhino glory. I’m certain this time I really will save this set for only the big races in Portland. I wonder how long it will be before I manage to convince myself I need a second set, this time with a dry conditions tire.

Let me get this straight. I now have three sets of tubulars, two with Chris King Hubs and Mavic rims running Challenge sew ups, and a set of carbon tubbies mounted up with Dugasts. I guess I need a pit bike for all of these wheels. Time to call Mikey D. See, I told you I have a problem.

The Ringer

2006-12-30T01:14:00.000-08:00

Let old Blanco Suave tell you a little cross racing tale. See, the Suave is what you might call a cross aficionado. I’ve been into it for way too long, and paid my dues. I’ve raced the mountain bike short-track on the drop bars and persevered until the local yokel heathens saw the cross light and started realizing what fun a real cross course is. Not just a jungle cross-not that jungle cross isn’t fun- but a real, honest to goodness, actually can pass someone, shorter than three mile, sometimes even bits of pavement, cross course.

Of course I’ll take the credit for that, not all the publications, web sites and industry types touting the cross scene as the next big thing. No, it was Blanco Suave out there pimping to the unwashed masses.(And by masses, I mean the same dummies that show up every year to finish in roughly the same order, regardless of the course or equipment in cross.)

So anywhoo, the Suavesters done all the requisite cross pilgrimages and immersed himself in the cross culture. I’ve started in the traditional cross story by building a frankenbike on the cheap and worked all the way up to multiple bikes and carbon tubulars. I am unabashedly a cross whore and Blanco Suave doesn’t give a shit what you think. I’’ll buy and acquire any type or quality of equipment and race on it and be damned happy it helped me to 7th overall in the men’s B field. I like it, so I have it. Suck on it, Patsy.

Anywhoowhoo, with all of the blinging gear that exists in cross now, it’s easy even for me, Blanco Suave, to get caught up in the arms race and want the newest, latest, greatest, shit. Couple that with an industry job, and the parts aren’t so unobtainium. Having Portland’s cross scene, access to cost of goods way below wholesale, and a magazine and web site fetish only adds fuel to the Blanco fire. Yeah, that’s right. I’m sporting the shit. Spare me your old school rant on how back in the day, blah blah blah whatever. I’ll ride what I want to ride. If you have questions, please refer to the last sentence in the previous paragraph.

Moving on with the story for real this time. I forget sometimes that not everybody rolls the Bentley gear come cross season and that sometimes, they even sport the odd ATB. WTF? didn’t everybody get the memo two years ago about how cross is the new whatever, and how your only cool if you have enough gear at the races to make Sven Nijs blush, even though your only competing for 12th out of 10 in the old, slow, fat, and employable division?

Long story short. (For real, I promise!) Blanco Suave hasn’t been riding nearly as much as he did last year or no way close enough to justify his gear. Mrs. Suave gives the Kitchen Pass to travel to Redding to race some December cross. Picture this, Blanco and Ale-Prop roll to the start/finish area of the race with multiple bikes and not only multiple wheels, but glued on and sewn-up multiple wheels that most of the local crew on their ATB’s have never heard of. Of course there are a couple of local hotshots that recognize the gear from an article in VeloNews and decide such foreign(probably Belgian) gear signals the showing of a (and I’m quoting the actual verbiage used) “Ringer”!

Well, Blanco Suave’s been called lots of thing, but ringer ain’t one of them. I figure the best plan of action is to walk the walk before I have to talk the talk. So I walk the course sans bike, ride it way slow and early on, and then warm up on the trainer until race time so as to maximize the psyche-out. I mark the guy in the only other skinsuit and then the gun goes off and it’s on like Donkey Kong. A few bumbles and stumbles and Blanco needs Ale-Prop to reel in the big fish and haul his ass back into the fold. Luckily, Ale-Prop is all about riding hard and blowing himself up in his first year of A’s, and I bridge back. I trade a few blows with Skinsuit and Niner Noel and finally finish in second. It’s an awesome course, and the racing is tight. Alessandro Cristacchi hooned on the locals until his 45 minute legs were riding into the last bits of his 65 minute race. The kids gonna wind up wailing as soon as he gets the whole cross suffering/masochism/suppression of survival instincts/ self doubt down. Even Blanco Suave made old Niner Noel barf and was able to look back on a pretty good day of racing. Redding is just lucky that the whole Blanco Suave training program basically consists of not drinking at lunch plus treachery and deceit. Wait ‘till next year when the fitness catches back up with the smack talk. I’m gonna go all Sven Nijs on their asses. Let’s see what Mr. Skinsuit has to say, then.

Oh Yeah, I don’t feel like posting any pictues right now. Deal with it.

2006-12-28T22:49:00.000-08:00

Word on the street is that El Ocho is in secret training for another shot at the Creampuff. He got his knickers in a twist when he heard the course was going to be a single loop. He might want to consider keistering a shiv and a change of underwear.

Rumour has it that Sasquattle has heard of El Ocho's intentions and is warm for Ocho's from.

Even if El Ocho completes his Tonkin man-crush beard before the Puff, Sasquatch will know it's El Ocho and not Tonkin when the race clock goes into the double digits and Ocho's all weak and wobbly kneed. It'll all be over but the crying.

Poor El Ocho will probably wind up looking like this.

Sasquatches forest prison bitch.

2006-12-28T22:10:00.000-08:00

The Blanco Suavester has just about had it with this shit. It seems the only days I get to ride look like this. No fun at all. You can have all of the gear, but when a good half of your allotted ride time is taken up by the layering and dressing, well fuck that. I need to go skiing or some other type of nordic shit where at least you get to huff wax fumes to get ready. Maybe that's why I love gluing tubulars so much. At least with skis you get to use them right away. It's a 24 hour wait in the old sew-up test ride.

With this weather and the holidays, I need to have this sign posted at the Blanco's work and home. I don't even go into the garage to work on the bikes anymore. I'm really sneaking out so as to get the old fashioned "secret drunk" on. Well, not really, but if I linger a bit to much in the Man Cave it keeps me from hanging more garland or some other Santa shit.

Piss and Moan. Piss and Moan. Man, just when a guy gets a good pity party started, this kind of weather happens, and suddenly JohnfuckingDenver is chirping about sunshine and shoulders some other shit. If this high pressure front, as the weathermen like to say,is coupled up with a kitchen pass and no wind, then say it ain't so , but I'm going riding. It even fell on the weekend, imagine! I figure I'm pissed for the rest of the year, but oh well, the rest of the year ain't here yet and I have an hour and a half to try and stretch into two without getting on the shit list!

Der Klumpen is aboard.

2006-12-04T22:38:00.000-08:00

He's all about the Placenta. This last weekend we journeyed about in super secret training mode. It mostly consists of bagels, coffee, and a bit of dirt thrown in for good measure. Der Klumpen is clued into the honored training rituals of Blanco Suave. It's not about the fitness, but really getting one's ass capable of sitting on an upholstered two by four for multiple hours. I figure you can always eat more and keep going as long as Blancito and the twins are comfy. Der Klumpen has even threatened to bring out a new kit, just for the occasion. Blanco Suave knows the kit, but you lasses and laddies are gonna hafta wait and see. I predict much gnashing and wailing.

Der Klumpen was such a hero this weekend, he even went to Redding to race cyclocross. He had the B's in the bag until some cheating mofo decided to cut the course every where he could. Hope he has fun padding his resume with that one. Good job Ace. Way to be a real Eddy Merckx. I'm certain TreeFarm and Wicknasty are now looking over their shoulders and afraid of losing their factory spot. I hope the promoter upgrades his ass to the A's where he will promptly get it handed to him, if they don't hook his ass into a barrier first.

Blanco Suave decided to do a little cross training by looking at flooring. Aside from the mile long hike into Lowes, there wasn't much in the way of cardio. The thought of spending the better part of a long weekend moving furniture, stripping carpet off of concrete, and crawling around on my hands and knees did make the old back lock up in fear. Maybe I should be doing some crunches and stretching so the core isn't so suave. Nah, I think I'll have another beer and watch Cops to see if I recognize anybody.

Speaking of heroes and cross, Alessandro traveled up to the North Land to show all the metrosexuals how a Southern Oregon boy throws down.

Hope he had Pam all over his bike. At least it wasn't the kind of mud that coats the crevices and makes it feel like you have just spent the better part of 45 minutes spackling your crack shut, all the while covering your bike in a highly efficient grinding compund. It sure didn't look like fun to pedal an ever heavier bike as it loaded up with what I'm certain Alessandro hoped was clay and mud and not what it smelled like. Good thing for him he's got Baby Blue and Number Two, the Burley twins. A man has to have his options.

And on a final note, a good friend had his house broken into and four bikes stolen. If I wasn't such a caring and generous soul, I 'd say that the theft was punishment for having way too many 700c bikes. But if you see any of these, give the guy a shout after you've given the thief an ass kicking and took the bike (or bikes) back. Details below.

STOLEN Niner SIR 9 - Portland OR
This past weekend, my house was broken into, and among other things, 4 of my bikes were stolen. Please keep a lookout for the following and contact Portland Police (503) 823-2143 or myself unotache@hotmail.com if you have any info.

Niner SIR 9. XL-ORANGE. Paul’s Thumbies XT Rear Der, SRAM X-Gen Front, Race Face Dues cranks, headset, stem and Next carbon post. One black and one grey Avid Juicy 5 disc brake. Salsa Pro-moto 17deg bars with Control Tech Stumpy barends, San Marco Strada saddle, Time Atack Ti pedals, Mavic A317 Rims, XTR centerlock hubs, Exi rear, Fast Track Front.

Also stolen:

Colnago Super “fixie” 62cm YELLOW. Sanshin track hubs on Mavic Ma2’s. Campy Chorus headset, Super record 170mm cranks and front brake. Black Spire chainring, BB is loose.

Serotta Nova Special X 64cm ORANGE, Campagnolo Nouvo Record Group, Mavic GL 330’s Vittoria Corsa CX front tire, Cyclepro Rear, Campagnolo alloy Freewheel. White Turbo Saddle, Black cloth bar tape. Toe Clips and Straps.

Schwinn Paramount 63cm Blue w White Panels. 60th anniversary frame, Campy Chours 10-spd group, Ritchey WCS bar stem post, Look carbon fork. RED Time Equipe pedals. Embroidered San Marco Strada Saddle

Paskenta Beeyotch!

2006-11-28T23:04:00.000-08:00

And the Blue caboose is rollin!! El Ocho and Blanco Suave are already geeking over making the big trip come Stuporbowl Sunday and laying the wood the the fragmented back of the packers. For those not in the know, the Paskenta Century (hereby to be referred to as the Placenta) starts and finishes in Chico every year on above said date. It essentially travels North and West to the itty bitty hamlet of Paskenta. Where is Paskenta you ask? Just about as far away from Chico as you can get without climbing over anything of significance. No fees, no sag, no worries.

Last year there must have been UCI points awarded or some shit, 'cause every football hatin' fast greyhound from sunny CA. was out to establish the pissin' order. The first few miles were in town and homies were gassin' it like Oscar Friere racing Tom Boonen. I'm talking about curb hopping, elbow banging, gutter flicking, the works. Luckily, it settled down with a "friendly" 25 mph peleton into a 30mph headwind going up HWY 99. By Blanco Suave math, that means I must have been 55mph or something.

El Ocho and the Suave know that coming up is the turnoff that can take the Placenta from an even hundy to about 108, if so desired. We decide discretion is the better part of valor and will opt for the straight shot up 99 to the real turn off. Besides, it's freakin' February. Only the true hammerheads will choose the longer route, leaving us with a large main group to safely nestle into for the next 6 miles of truly nasty headwind. Well, nobody ever said El Ocho and Blanco Suave were soothsayers. One, that's right, one other knucklehead decided not to take the detour. Oh well, Ocho and Suave got enough bulk to take turns in the wind and drag this coot along too. With any luck we'll beat the group to the turn off and join up with the second or third group through. Sure enough, we manage to make the turn ahead of the peleton.

So were rolling along all nice and El Ocho looks back and sees something ominous in the old rear view. It's the fragmented peleton, strung out in echelons all over the road behind us in groups of 8-10, and the last two or three guys in the line are dragging in the gutter. Ocho quips, "I think if we work together, we can hold them off." and the dork who has ridden the girthy coattails of the Blue Caboose until this point takes himself and El Ocho seriously and replies, "Sorry guys, but I can't work with you. I've got teammates back there." Jackass.

Long story only slightly less long. Those first few echelons stream past us like the Bullet train in France. The first one goes past so fast that if it weren't for El Ocho and Blanco Suave's heft and cunning, we would have been blown into the ditch like when a semi passes too close. We basically spent the rest of the damn Placenta by our own selves after about 25 miles. No big whoop. We had lots of time to look at cows and crazy Jesus signs way up in trees. One was so high(the sign, not the cows) up in a tree, it must have been meant for reading after some biblical flood that was nigh, or some shit like that.

Anyhoo, getting back to making the story shorter, (or at least finished) the whole payoff for the trip is the four miles of gravel out in the middle of nowhere and about as far away from a bike shop as you can get. If you are lucky, it's dry and fast, like all the "dusty" years at Roubaix. Less luck means wet and muddy. A cross bike would be a worthy idea. If you have no luck at all, such as El Ocho has had in the past, it is shitty and rainy and muddy, only until you have a couple of flats in the gravel, and then after you've straggled back to the pavement, the sun comes out and dries all the mud to your bike like cement and sucks all the lube off your chain in about three pedal strokes.

Last year was nice and sunny, and except for the wind, was great. I've decided this next year, for El Ocho and Blanco Suave to ride better in the Placenta, a few things need to happen. First, we need to hornswaggle the Shipper Bunny into riding it. Nothing passes the time faster than listening to the Shipper Bunny heckle a few roadie dorks and waiting for him to start drafting butterflies. Second, it needs to rain. Us Oreegawn boys need a little Belgium in our spring riding or we don't know what to do. And last, we need to train. But hey, two out of three aren't bad.

What the Hell is Blanco Suave?

2006-11-21T19:56:00.000-08:00

It's not what but who. Blanco Suave does not trifle with the ways of mere mortals and underlings who do not fear and worship at the great alter of the Suave. With his trusty sidekick, El Ocho, Blanco Suave crushes all comers who dare challenge their middle of the pack supremacy.

Actually Blanco Suave is a totally cheesy, self given nickname that I thought of after my friend, Scott came up with the brilliant idea of referring to himself in the third person as "El Ocho". It's become such a running joke that everyone at the cross races now refers to him as "El Ocho". Never mind that we all know that it literally translates as "The Eight". It sounds kind of like a cross between a name of a Mexican wrestler ala' Jack Black in "Nacho Libere" and the idiocy of giving yourself a nickname that your not quite certain what it means like Will Ferrell did in "Ricky Bobby". Well I gots to get me some of that action. I mean, Scott and I travel to races and ride together and it was starting to sound like I was becoming a sidekick. He tried to help out by coming up with the clever pun on my name, "The Thomohawk". He even would shout out last lap, "time to unleash the fury of the Thomohawk!" It was to no avail. So I did what any cyclocrossing fan of the Aquabats would do. I gave myself a better nickname. How is it better you ask? Well for one, it sounds all smooth, like Rico Suave, the jackass from the eighties. Plus, it's longer and has more syllables than El Ocho. That's always better. Also, there was divine inspiration when the name was thought of. It came to me as I was changing a light bulb. It jumped out at me right off of the packaging. The fact that it translates to "soft white" is just a sign from God!